The Burden of Inevitability

For years she had dreamt of this trip. For years she had energized herself in the darkest of nights — thinking of this journey. The idea jolted her, inspired her — rendered meaning to a life otherwise plummeting towards inconsequentialism.

How much had she imagined herself reaching her destination — The mountains of Annapurna!

She had imagined the moment she would take that woolen scarf off her face, remove her jacket cap and expose her face to the mountain wind — the cold wind would smash itself into her and she would finally rise and shine out of her slumber.

She would wake up to be new! She would wake up from a long long night of dread and frustration — into a morning of vigor, purpose, and action.

She would stare at the dazzling mountain snow as the sun would gleam on her face. She would take a deep breath and get into a meditative state. She would drink in each and every moment and then return home — to dedicate her entire life to the feeling she had mustered there.

Here she was —mere 5 km away from her destination. After this night was done, she would wake up early tomorrow and rush! Bloody run!

But she isn’t able to sleep. It is 2 AM and the old melancholy is back.

‘What are you so excited about?’

‘Wasn’t you arriving here inevitable?’

‘You have come 5 years too late’

‘You were always supposed to reach here. There’s nothing new. So, shut up!’