One small victory in this huge war.
I have written about anxiety before. But today I want to discuss one of its lethal forms called Anticipatory Anxiety.
- What is Event Anticipatory Anxiety? — This is something I named before I knew such a thing as Anticipatory Anxiety existed. I was trying to describe the same anxious feeling I felt while anticipating certain types of different events. I noticed that the idea of those events caused the anxiety way before the event even occurred.
- What are events? — Events are occurrences of limited time-span. Life is the sum of events.
- What kinds of events cause such anxiety in me? —Events that include people or entities I am not comfortable with in the event environment. For example, if the event is a walk in a certain street at night, stray dogs that bark are things I am not comfortable with in that environment.
- What is common in all those event anxieties? — Something undesired will happen in this event.
- Personal Examples of Event Anticipatory Anxiety—
While smoking inside the house
While entering a classroom
While checking Medium notifications
While meeting certain people
While visiting one particular relative of mind.
- Descriptions of what goes on inside the head (the undesired will happen thought) during these episodes —
While smoking inside the house: A family member might come and create a scene about me smoking.
While entering a classroom: The class laughs at me
While checking Medium notifications in the morning: No response, followers or comments!
While meeting certain people: This person will insult or humiliate me
While visiting one particular family of relatives: They will talk of stupid and sensitive issues.
- Real life instances where the descriptions above have come true —
While smoking inside the house: A family member might come and create a scene about me smoking. There have been instances in my young-days when I have been yelled at for smoking. Beaten and even jailed for drinking.
While entering a classroom: The class laughs at me. The entire class laughed at my buckteeth deformity when I first entered the classroom after joining a new school in the 5th grade.
While checking Medium notifications in the morning: No response, followers or comments! Daily these days.
While meeting certain people: This person will insult or humiliate me. I went through a lot of insults and humiliation during my childhood and teenage years.
While visiting one particular family of relatives: They will talk of stupid and sensitive issues. They always do so.
- What have I learnt from all this? — * The undesired will happen * thought is due to the traumatic memories of true events of the past. Especially of those during my childhood and teenage years.
- What is the solution? — Try to recall instances of events above where you have been successful in order to wash the traumatic memories and replace them with successful ones.
While smoking inside the house: All instances of smoking in the house in the last decade. I have come out of the smoking room unscathed every single time. When I have enjoyed and woken up calmly at home after drinking the night earlier.
While entering a classroom: When I entered the classroom of the same school one day confidently chewing a gum and humming the tune of a song knowing one of them will ask me to write them a lyrics of any song anytime.
While checking Medium notifications in the morning: When one of my stories on Dostoevsky went viral.
While meeting certain people: Multiple instances in the last few years when I have bossed meetings and have come out of them as the leader.
While visiting one particular family of relatives: All instances I don’t visit them.
Conclusion —
- Event Anticipatory Anxiety is when I have the same anxious feeling while anticipating certain different types of events.
- Such anxiety is caused by events that include people or entities I am not comfortable with in the event environment.
- The prevalent thought in all those events is this: Something undesired will happen.
- This is due to the traumatic memories of true events in the past when the undesired has happened.
- What is the solution? How to be free from this crap?
Recall instances of events where you have been successful so that you wash the traumatic memories and replace them with beautiful ones.
